Being young and in love has to be one of the best feelings. The butterflies, the cute messages, the random surprises… Then things start to progress, titles start to brought about, your friends are beginning to get married and wondering if you’re next, you get an animal together, move in together, … you are literally signed to a contract with this other person. You really have began a life with them… Problem is, only one of you are ready to sign on the dotted line of this contract.
It honestly saddens me how so many of my friends have found themselves in the situation listed above. Yes, some people that get themselves into this situation just begin to feel differently and things begin to then change, but for many individuals it comes down to one thing…not knowing their partner and trying to change them into the person that they want them to be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with supporting your partner as they change for the better, but the thing is…THEY have to want to change.
So many people force relationships based on the fact that they have been together for years, they have a lot of history, they live together, have children together, or even an animal… I get the whole wanting to stay together for the kids thing, but hey I grew up in a single parent home and I think I turned out pretty damn good if you ask me. It is an excuse to try to keep making a failed relationship work when in reality your not only hurting yourself but your kids as well. The more that individuals realize that sometimes you grow up and grow apart, the easier the ending of a relationship can be. Life is too short to be in a relationship where you are unhappy and bored..I get it, a relationship is like a credit card contract. You signed on the dotted line, you made your commitments that you were going to pay back all your debts, that you would be on time to outings, and that there are consequences for certain actions… Leaving a relationship does not have to be so difficult. If you can terminate a cell phone contract in less than five minutes, you can do the same in a relationship. We seem to have this misconception that you need to have a full intro, body, and conclusion as to why you do not want to be with someone…but you don’t. It does not matter if you have been with someone for ten years or ten days… Is it the respectful thing to do? Well, maybe…but it is in all honesty in your hands, based on how you feel and your partner will eventually have to respect that with whatever choice you make. If you cannot accept the truth then do not ask for it. A relationship, whether just in the dating phase or the marriage phase can be left at anytime, it is only as complicated as you make it. If you are unhappy and do not feel like there is any way that you can make it better, then leave. Rather be alone and happy than single and miserable.
Overall, I will never tell anyone to end things with their significant other, it is not my place BUT what I will do is support someone with whatever choice they do decide to make. We need to learn to be more supporting of our friends, family, and significant others choices rather than disapproving just because we think that we know what is right. Leaving someone that you once loved may be the hardest thing at the time, but in the long run not only are you helping yourself, but also your significant other as well. Instead of looking at the period of time with this individual as a waste of time, look at it as a bunch of great times and lessons learned.
Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward to what is next and finding all the answers that you need in life. It is OK to break the contract.